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kaylakinsz
25 October 2012 @ 07:02 am


i am so sad. this is almost unbareable. i get in my car after school and work everyday and just break down and cry. i want this all to be okay.

 

just know that Paul and I did not break up, I am okay physically as is he (for the most part) I just don't know when we will be together again physically just yet and I wish I could say more but he is still talking to his lawyer. just please, everyone say a prayer and keep him in your thoughts.

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kaylakinsz
22 October 2012 @ 10:11 pm

I need to talk about something, but legally I cannot until further notice. Just everyone say a prayer tonight for someone very near and dear to me.

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kaylakinsz
30 September 2012 @ 09:51 pm

Paul and I celebrate one crazy fucking year tomorrow. Crazy to see how far we've come in a year. It started out as a first date at bw3 for a soda. He got me my favorite flower. Then we went to retzer for a beautiful star lit walk and look out over downtown Waukesha. We went to see 50/50 on sweetest day. We went to Fujiyama for sushi and we would tag each other on Facebook. Kelly would hate us. We would spend every weekend together. He would take the bus to get to my work and we would come home. I would take him home at 1am. When he first told me "I love you," I may have laughed because I didn't know what to say. He got me a beautiful ring for valentines day. We wen to the casino for New Years. I took him to his first hockey game. Dinner nights and movies. We have obviously had our downs, but this is what it feels like to have your other half and KNOW it. I love this man. Happy one year.

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kaylakinsz
25 September 2012 @ 06:56 am

I'm a creeper. Oh god. I've been talking to Matty lately. He sent me a text at like 1am asking to call him when i woke up because his power was out and he didn't want to be late to school. So I called him, and hung up when he answered because my fucking mic on my phone is out. I'm going to be a little embarrassed when I see him at school today. With my luck he'll be my protege. Fml.

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kaylakinsz
17 September 2012 @ 01:59 pm

Remember when I was head over heels for Paul? I'm not sure I feel that anymore. Now that I have him again, I get annoyed with him. The tables have turned and now he is the one saying "I want to see you". I just brush it off like its nothing. I love him. But I'm not sure if I'm over it? Friday I didn't hear from him until 11pm. And I wasn't even mad. I didn't even think I text him. Usually I would have flipped out and called him a bunch. I didn't. I didnt even wonder what he was doing or who he was with. Am I trusting him again or do I just not care? I can't even tell. He was going to come over last night after the brewers game, but I was honestly thinking of excuses. He ended up staying home to do homework. He is supposed to come over tomorrow after school....and I'm already thinking of reasons for him to not come over. I'm sleeping over on Saturday after my 5k. He asked if I worked on Sunday and I said yes. He sounded disappointed and said "so I only get to see you for 12 hours?"

I've been so boy crazy lately. Not even that I want a boyfriend or sleep around, but I crave that attention. Not like Paul doesn't give that to me...but I just don't know.

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kaylakinsz
04 September 2012 @ 08:26 pm

Paul and I are back together and working things out. I'm glad I finally have my other half. For some reason though, my family feels the need to text about it to each other rather than talk to me about it. I changed my relationship status today on facebook and my sister sent my mom a text saying "I could just puke". My mom said something back and my sister goes "I would lay down the law if I were you and Tim". How about you guys just be happy for me. Honestly. It's not a toxic relationship like it was with bud. Fuck. It's like they're all too scared to confront me. My sister is constantly texting my mom about my outfits in the morning, referring to me as a "stuffed sausage." I know I am not a size fucking two, but don't be an asshole about it. Jesus. Grow the fuck up and talk to me about it. It's not that hard.

I haven't told everyone about us getting back together, because some people are a little bitter from a situation I encountered about two weeks ago, but I'm not getting into that. For the most part, everyone is supportive (apparently except for my family) of this, especially his parents. His dad said he was stupid to act impulsively rather than talk to me about it. His mom is happy we're working it out. She loves bryce and she loves me. Hoping for the best!

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kaylakinsz
05 August 2012 @ 07:09 pm

My heart is broken. Please excuse me for this hiatus.

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kaylakinsz
27 February 2012 @ 10:10 am

I want school to start. Two more weeks.

I also really can't wait for the day where Paul and I don't have to say "see ya later this week/next week" and we can say "see you after work/school" everyday.

There are two things I am certain about in life right now - going to school is the best thing for me, and my relationship with Paul. He's deactivated any possible dating whatever app and shit, and his Facebook. I have no question in my mind about our relationship. This sounds so stupid, but I never thought I would find someone so compatible after my relationship with bud. It was a terrible relationship. And I definitely never would have thought I would find someone so okay with me having a kid, let alone wanting one or two of his own. I told myself I wanted one more and I was done. I am so okay with forgoing that and having a third because I want to share that Paul. And I can't WAIT for that to happen. LOVE

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kaylakinsz
24 February 2012 @ 12:45 pm

Went to my gyno yesterday. If this pain persists, I have to go in for a day surgery. I am terrified. What if I have endometriosis? It seems silly since I have already had a child, but what if? Ugh. Kill me please. To top off my lady pains, I strained my back the other day when I slipped on vegetable oil I was cleaning up. Only me...

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